When the Thrill is Gone: The One Thing That Can Save Your Marriage From Boredom

Have you ever stopped and said to yourself, “my life is sooo boring now.  

All I do is work, go to school, pay bills, clean everyone’s mess, tend to children,(if you all have them) and go to church”.

You know you have a beautiful family, you’re killing it on your job and you met your weight loss goals this month. But when it comes to your marriage, you just feel blah.  

If this is you, you’ve probably reached the point where you’d give just about give anything to drop everything and fly to Paris with your girls.

Or blow your entire savings on a motorcycle (that you don’t even know how to ride).

Anything to break up the monotony in your now seemingly boring life.

Sigh.

You still love your spouse and want to be together but the spark is gone!

You’re bored.

Honestly, it’s the flames not even flickering anymore. You know it and so does he.

Then you ask yourself, is this all there is?  

In short, no.

You just have to be committed to sparking those flames again .

Listen, it’s one thing to get married. That’s the easy part.  

It is another to stay married; the not so easy part no one tells you about.

The word of God says to whom much is given much is required (Luke 12:48) and in marriage, MUCH is required!  

Many believers quote this scripture but fail to implement it.

But not you, right? 🙂 

Marriage is a serious commitment to God.

A commitment that requires MUCH from both the husband and wife… but only if you want to stay married that is.

Remember Keith Sweat’s Make It Last Forever song (millenials click here if you don’t know who Keith Sweat is)? The one you used to hear at every wedding reception back in the day?

Now this is #RelationshipGoals.

Undoubtedly or hopefully, no one gets married with the notion of “I’m down for this for about two years then I’m out”!

That’s crazy talk right?  

After the first few years, you’re still riding the wave of love.

Life is great, grand, and wonderful.  

You and your cupcake are still leaving love notes for each other and sending “for your eyes only” texts.

The butterflies are still flapping in your belly and then BAM!

The real work of marriage begins.

All of a sudden the thrill is gone!

It’s what we call the “Marriage Middle”.

There’s a  little voice in your head saying, this all my life will be now, cooking, cleaning, kids, repeat. You think, I just wanna live my life. But I’m stuck in this routine!  

If this is you, there’s only one word that will save your sanity and marriage at this point and that’s choice.

When it comes to longevity in marriage, we have two choices

1). Succumb to those little negative voices and risk creating unnecessary trouble in your marriage 

Or

2). Rely on God’s strength to push you through those moments of weaknesses in the Marriage Middle.

God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness and His strength is perfect (2 Cor. 12. 9-11 KJV).

Simply put, when you feel like giving up and running off to Paris with your girls, stop and ask God to strengthen you in that moment.

Tell him how much you need Him right then and there. Tell God to take complete control and show you your next plan of action in your relationship.

Then watch Him work!

Through prayer God will renew, restore, and revitalize the youthness of your marriage.

You’ll laugh like the best friends you are. Did you know that laughter in marriage is a natural aphrodisiac? 😉

You’ll dance to the song in your hearts, and you’ll gain that tenacity back to adventure together!

You can even buy that motorcycle and ride it together or cruise across the country if that’s what you all decide. One thing’s for sure, your days of boredom will be over!

God gives us the power to choose with everything, even making a marriage work.

Joshua 24:15 says to choose this day whom ye will serve.

However, verse 14 says if you see serving the Lord as evil; then you have to choose whom you will serve.

So what does that mean? We’re glad you asked.

You see, God created marriage for his good pleasure.

So serving your spouse with willingness and faithfulness is a service unto God, making marriage a legitimate ministry; one you have to work daily in order to serve your spouse with good pleasure.

If you’re serious about rekindling your marriage and getting over the Marriage Middle hump, begin to pray and ask our God to show you how to have fun with your spouse again.

Bet you didn’t think to include this one on your prayer list this week lol.  

Husbands, ask the Father to teach you how to love your spouse like Christ loves the(church) and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5: 25 NIV).

Wives ask our heavenly Father to teach you how to submit to your own husband in such a way that he will know he’s a king honored in his own home (Ephesians 5: 22 NIV).  

Marriage is not a temporary fix to satisfy burning flesh or sexual desires.

Real talk.

And it should never be conceived just for sex. Sorry to burst your bubble with this but the truth is all we have to give at TKHC.

Marriage is longevity and continuous pursuit of one another.

Trust us, God is able to rekindle the love fuel that is needed for longevity in marriage.

So if the thrill is gone in your own marriage and you want it back, choose to fan those flames again.

Choose to make it better instead of hoping it gets that way on it’s own.

Commit to doing something different in your marriage and stick to it.

We are products of God’s rekindling. If He did it for us, we know He can do it for you too!

Signed,

The Hales